There he is, look. Vincent “Vinny” Samways. The Bethnal Green boy who played for Tottenham, then Everton, then Wolves, and Birmingham City for a bit, before legging it to Spain where he received a breathtaking 69 yellow and six red cards in seven years. 

He’s signed this photo, and it can be yours. You can put it on your desk and look at it, when the world is bringing you down. When Brexit, and the weather, and Coronavirus is weighing heavy on your mind, you can glance at Vinny and think, “you know, what...maybe I’ll go to Spain as well, maybe I’ll amass a frankly offensive number of red and yellow cards on the continent, get myself a tan, get a ring cut with my own name on it. Yeah! Maybe I will do that.” 

It’s an aspirational signed photograph of Vinny Samways, is what it is.