Words: Josh Millar
Images: Well Offside

“My greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment; my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their fucking perch while wearing loads of really nice jackets.”

Alex Ferguson didn’t say that, but let’s imagine he did. On the anniversary of his appointment as manager of Man United, here are the five best pieces of outerwear he wore during his time at Old Trafford.

You know where you stand with this all black Umbro number. It’s built for those walks in the park to meet men from strange places to talk about offing a Senator in House of Cards. Or in this case, going ballistic at the opposition manager for not letting United roll them.

Imagine Alex Ferguson had moved to Brittany instead of going into football management. He goes fishing every morning for oysters and mussels, scallops and clams, lobster and langoustines and brings them back to sell to tourists so he can retire to his maison near La Rochelle and sit on the beach in his skimpies and read L’Equipe all day and watch the beautiful people roller-skate past him while they listen to Plastic Bertrand on their Walkmans. Aaaaaaah, one day... For now, he’s content with his boat and the great wide ocean. La mer, c’est beau, he whispers to himself, c’est beau. That or winning the FA Cup.

Phone vibrated twice, I looked but I still didn’t read it / ‘Cause I knew that it was gonna stress me out and right now I don’t need it / She told me she was leaving, I gave her too many reasons / She told me that I don’t care, but I told her I’m no good with my feelings

Fergie exclusively listens to The Mouse Outfit and Bugzy Malone now, and says that everything is “deeply chill.” You think he should grow up.

Ferguson plays ‘Fergie’ in the ITV2 detective drama of the same name that you will watch without fail when you’re hungover on the sofa on Sunday morning. Patrols the streets of Govan, his sidekicks keep dying so he goes without one. Hard. As. Nails. Three series, every episode a classic.

Oh, look, it’s the greatest jacket in existence. From the gigantic adidas trefoil that he’s very sweetly written his initials onto, the colour-blocked red and black is perfect, looooooooooooooads of pockets to keep his gum and his Imperial Mints in, and that collar, man. A piece of sartorial genius. Costs 250 quid on eBay. Sorry.

Images: Well Offside

1 comment

Greig Anderson
There is no beating his 1983 Adidas jacket whilst at Aberdeen!

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