“He’s had to live with his critics saying he’s not Premiership standard…” said Martin Tyler as Bobby Zamora wheels away in celebration, “…but how about this!” Against Birmingham in 2005, The Iron’s Zamora took the ball under pressure after a hasty throw-in from strike partner Marlon Harewood (who now runs a custom car garage in Gedling, by the way) and flicked the ball backwards, over his shoulder, over the heads of two defenders (what people who edit YouTube compilations might call ‘a sobrero’) and met it as it landed, taking it immediately under his spell: Bobby, a magician now, a wizard trapped inside the body of a lad who looks like he works on a stall in Romford market selling pears, shifts the ball from left to right (a little legerdemain that would’ve made Dimi Berbatov proud), leaving a last-ditch slide tackling defender to skid off towards the ad hoardings before slotting the equaliser through the goalkeeper’s legs. Bobby himself couldn’t believe it, tearing away behind the goal, riling up all those empty blue seats. “That…” said Alan Smith on co-comms. “…was brilliant.” And, fair play, it really was.

For more exceptional, ultimately meaningless, writing about goals, kits, boots and football ephemera, subscribe to our quarterly football magazine here. It’s good.